"Bonjour, Merci, and a little bit of l'amour in between"

Do you remember how you felt the moment he said "I'm leaving"? The pain in your stomach, as you watch him pack his things. Confusion flooded your head as the whole world began to crash down on you. Do you remember the tears? All you want  to do is run. But you couldn't move. You wanted to die, but you were very much alive at this point.
You want answers from him, but the stuttering and the chocking on tears wont allow any words to come out...

"Why are you leaving? When did you give up on us? On me? When did you decide it was time to stop fighting? Is there someone else? What ever I did wrong, I can fix it. I will fix it. Please! Stay. Don't just turn your back on us... everything we've been through, everything we've built together. Does it mean nothing?!"

You think you see a glimpse of pain on his face, and reach for it. He rejects you. You mistook pity for compassion. You can't hold yourself up - it hurts. You need to sit down. You need him to stop talking. You need a drink. You need him to hold you and make it go away because the words "I'm leaving" ring a piercing sound ricocheting in your body, causing you to bleed from the inside.
"STOP! JUST SHUT UP... hold me."
The door slams. He's gone.

Do you remember what it felt like to have your soul split in two? I don't. I've never felt that. I'm the one who always slams the door. They say, "You haven't lived, if you haven't loved". I think they're wrong. You haven't lived, if you haven't lost love. I've never lost loves, but I have given up the fight. no regrets. How long is one really expected to fight before they themselves are on the floor, in to much pain to get back up? How much pain is one to endure for the sake of "love" or hurting the other person.

When we met, it was love at first site. This incredible energy between the two of us was so strong, we both knew we had to be together. For years, we spent late nights in bed, planning where we would build our house. How many children we wanted to adopt, and what their names would be. We planned places we would travel, and excursions we would have. We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. Like many relationships, ours failed. It ended like a scene in a movie. We were at the airport, and he was getting ready to go back to the UK to sort out his Visa. He was running late for his flight, and as he put his carry on over his shoulder to rush to the gate i realized I was no longer in love. The pain I had endured the last year was to much. We rushed to the gate. When we arrived at the security gate, where I couldn't follow he turned and said "I love you, I'll see you soon."
"No... you wont," I responded. He was confused, but I could tell not surprised.
"I don't want you to come back," I said. I could see the pain in his eyes. It hurts me to this day, when remembering the pain I inflicted on him that day.
"You can't come back. If you do... don't make it because of me. I won't be waiting for you."
He walked over to me and kissed me on the mouth. He touched my face, and ran to catch his flight. I drove to the nearest bar, picked up a guy, and tried to forget about it for one night. The relationship began like a movie, it only made sense it would end like one.
I've never lost love. Given up on it? Twice. As I get older, I realize that maybe I'm lucky I have never felt the pain of losing someones love. At the same time I also wonder. How does one know what life is, if they haven't felt the greatest pain of all.