There comes a time when you meet that guy that is so perfect, you can't help but feel insecure about yourself. You sit across the way in the diner, and pathetically ask yourself: Is this really happening? This guy could have anyone, what's he doing with me? His perfect body. His perfect lips, nose, teeth... ugh.
We've all heard "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but can to much beauty ruin a relationship? Sure can, when you feel inadequate. How does one get over that? He calls you. Set's up dates with you. Pulls you close to him while you're cooking dinner, and plants a passionate kiss just to let you know "hey, I'm totally into this. I'm totally into you," So, what's my problem!?
What's worse is what the insecurity does to you during sex. "Oh, I better stretch this way, so he doesn't feel the love handles I spend hours trying to get rid of daily. I should probably get him off first so he doesn't notice this raging hard on is non existent (which is nuts 'cause he looks like something that stepped out of an Abercrombie Spring/Summer catalogue). Then comes the moment of truth... after sex. Time to get up, clean off... how do you do this with out turning on the lights??! It's so nerve wracking. The after math is nice. He lays his head on your chest making jokes until he falls asleep. That's when you remember that you're into him because he makes you laugh, and now you can rest... Sort of. In the back of you're mind you're thinking "I better get up before he does and throw some clothes on."
A few day's ago, I asked him out to a movie Tuesday, or possibly dinner this weekend. He replied "Let's go for a run in the park. Do something different." My first response was "Wow awesome, this is a good step in the right direction." Second thought was "oh shit, does he want to go for a run 'cause he thinks I'm fat!?" Oh, how insecurity can turn something so beautiful into something so ugly. I'm hoping the 2 day addition to my weekly workout routine will fix all that. Maybe if I'm more comfortable with me, I can relax.
The laughter he causes, the butter flies in my stomach, the chemistry, and random sarcastic jabs he delivers are worth the extra effort to better myself physically. He's worth it.
1. no one's perfect. If he's physically 'perfect', he could be just as insecure as you are so his 'flaws' just aren't immediately noticeable to you. Maybe remind yourself that his shit stinks too...unless his diet's all honey & strawberries then maybe it don't smell all that bad (lol). Personally, I prefer my men to not be physically 'perfect'. But I still feel you on the insecurity (last night at a show, the guy I'm seeing kinda made me feel a little chubs--ew--but I am who I am & if he don't like it, he can see someone else).
ReplyDelete2. on the suggestion of going for a run: maybe he'd like to spend time with you without breaking the bank ;) I doubt he thinks you're 'fat'. If anything about you grossed him out, he wouldn't be seeing you & he wouldn't want to be seen out in public with you.
3. Be you. Do what you want. Eat what you want. And definitely say what you want. You rock. If he sees that, then he's worth your time. If not, then set him aside. There's plenty of other guys who'll love for who you are.